Other Words For Longing

Featured image: Buffalo bones, by William Henry Jackson (1870)

can be yearning, pining, craving, burning
or aching with my bones as I stand here on the corner of 19th and Kilbourn
partly because I walked here out of muscle memory after my last class in Cudahy
partly because I for some reason expected you to be there to open the door when I knocked
partly because I just wanted to see how the block might have changed since last time
partly because I really just miss you

it is another word for longing
to think of you after my 10 o’clock class it used to be the moment we would hold hands
in the blooming spring weather leaves begging to grow on the trees

it is a portrait to me the feeling of early spring, but there are no trees or flowers
just your very big toothy bright smile that made wish
I hadn’t learned
these other words for longing because I much rather it be early spring forever
than to see the seasons change summer fall winter and you’re not on 19th and Kilbourn
and now I have to say that egg sandwiches will never taste as good as the ones you made for me
or how when I listen to Mazzy Star, I am really listening to love letters from you
the smell of that fizzy water La Croix thing you love so much makes me think of the first day we met
and how it was then that I decided I wanted to grow a peach
orchard with you so we could make tea the remedy to forgetting other words for longing

Bianey Calixto-Dominguez is a first-generation student studying Information Systems in the College of Business Administration. She enjoys writing and hopes to one day be able publish a book. In addition to writing and computers, she also enjoys thrifting, making music, working out, and art.

The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Photography Collection, The New York Public Library. “Buffalo bones.” The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1870. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/54cb6b40-c572-012f-3449-58d385a7bc34